Sunday, 24 October 2010

magpie flying

I'm not a big fan of air-travel. Actually I dislike it to such extents that it resulted in me taking a five year long sabbatical from all things related to flying between 2004-2009. For those who have problems understanding how people can be afraid of flying let me just tell you this: I constantly expect the wings to fall off. I know that the wings of an aircraft is so flexible so the tips can meet above the plane, but that just does not help. End of story. Since last Christmas however I am a proud member of the recovering phobics and have during this year made 18 take-offs and landings. Which is pretty cool. Still, flying is not something I enjoy and usually A needs to talk calmly to me while I sit with my fists and jaw clenched shut.

On Friday I had to go to Bergen for some job-meetings and I had to do the whole flying thing alone. The following is a excperpt from the pep talk that I had going on during my flight back home:

Magpie - Internal dialogue 221010, 17.37

 - What was that noise?
 - Take it easy, that was only someone flushing the toilet. Breathe.
breating deeply, suddenly flinching
- What was that!
- Calm down, that was just the flight attendant closing a cabinet. Try to relax a bit. See how pretty the sea looks from above!
looking out through the window. 
- Are the wings really supposed to wiggle like that?
- The wings have moving parts that can be adjusted to reduce the speed. You know this. Try to enjoy en view now.
staring out the window...
- Is that smoke?! That is smoke! The engine is on fire! Why isn't anybody doing something?!
- Are you serious?! That's a frakking cloud! You're being totally unreasonable!
(sulking) - it looked like smoke...
-Ok, now we're landing in only a few minutes. This is soon over!
- Not soon enough...
- Oh, shut up.
- Aaagh! Aaaargh! What was that sound! Don't tell me that was something normal, that was loud!
 (resigned) Landing gear...
-Landing gear?! Falling off?!
-Oh, come on! Now your  being delusional! Soon you'll be seeing leprechauns on the wings!
- Leprechauns!? Where!?
OK, so I won't try out a career as a screenplay writer, but you get the general idea. I am actually quite proud of myself that the two flights in one day (!) worked out as good as they did. I'm not saying I enjoyed the beautiful view of the fjords in moonshine, but I could see how other people can. And I forced myself to watch out the window during the whole landing sequence in Stavanger, even though it was a bit turbulent and the wings moved a bit to much for my taste, but I did not freak out. Yey for me.


  1. Du er flink! Jeg er stolt av deg :) Har du virkelig flydd 18 ganger på ett år? Tar du igjen for de årene du ikke har flydd?;)Klem

  2. Takk søta! Ja, det har blivit några starter och landningar, men det är inräknat mellanlandningar och "nöd" landningar (1st). Oslo och Bergen ett par gånger och så Stockholm, London och Nice!